Interestingly enough, today was the second time in a week (and since I got back from New York and my corporate training) that someone has called me "clinical."
At one time I would have said that was so completely false and far out that those people didn't even know me at all. (Emotions are my thing). Now, I think there is a really "clinical" side to me. I can be a very cold person, but I think that's always been a protection thing.
I think there's always been a clinical side to me, that I never really showed very often. People close to me have seen it (for example, I'm not much of a cuddler to my husband's dismay. I'm sort of like a cat. I want to cuddle when it is convenient for me). Certainly, it's seen at work more often than not, just because of the nature of what I do. I have to be very straightforward, strong-willed, no bullshit, and the person who is willing to say "Not a chance in hell" to an entire sales force.
Spending hours chit chatting on the phone? Nope. Please don't even call me.
Hugs? Ok fine, but not too long, please because, just don't.
However, I have been known to be an incredibly emotional person. I still am. I care about my friends and family deeply. I take pride in the fact that people can confide in me, and as you've read from earlier posts, the giving of my friendship means a whole lot to me. I get fired up when I feel like people I love have been wronged.
I cry at commercials. I cried at Grey's Anatomy last night, just like I do every Thursday night. I am compassionate to a fault. I guess I'm a little strange (aren't we all?) because I have this very emotional side to me and yet a very cold and unfeeling side as well.
However, since I got back from New York, I see my interactions with people so differently. Before, if anyone were to ever say to me "I can't help how you take what I say and that you feel that way" so help them God I would rain down the fire of a thousand suns on them. Now, I totally get that statement. I can't help how you perceive what I say. My intentions are my intentions. On my best days, I only have control over myself, how on earth am I supposed to control you and your emotions or how you react to me??
I'm just not going to take ownership of that.
I've found myself finding situations to be very black and white lately. The saying "It is what it is" tends to be overused...but...most of the time, it really IS what it is. Usually, things are pretty clear cut. To be honest, I'm really loving it. I'm not into having a long detailed discussion about the problem and spending an hour and a half dissecting to pieces who is at fault, who should say they are sorry, who caused the problem, who instigated the problem, and etc etc.
I sort of already have a problem with speaking my mind....I don't do passive aggressive. You pretty much always know where you stand with me. If you're wondering if I'm talking about you, I'm probably not, because you would know if I was. I'm very conscientious that I may need to be even more careful of this.
I don't think this equates to me losing the emotional side of myself. In fact, I think this can only help me identify my true emotions. I'm liking seeing the logical side of everything, whereas before, I may have been clouded by a lot of those emotions.
I'm loving my new black and white world, though. I don't think I'm going to leave.
Friday, October 17, 2014
Tuesday, October 14, 2014
Amitié, Amistad, Freundschaft, Venskab, Cairdeas
Chances are you know what one of those words mean.
“Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It's not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything.” -Mohammed Ali
"Friendship is always a sweet responsibility, never an opportunity." -Unknown
I guess I like to think I surround myself with people who view friendship in the same manner as I do. When I was a kid, my mom used to tell me, "One day, you'll end up like me, with a handful of close friends, and it's going to be the quality that matters, not the quantity."
(She's a smart lady.)
I always thought to myself, "But, Ma, ALL my large quantity of friends are quality anyways!"
Over the years, I learned that wasn't the case. I wasn't always a quality friend when I was young, but as I hit college, I learned what being a quality friend meant. And, over the years, I learned that not everyone understood what being a friend meant. As with everything I suppose, everyone has a different view on what being a friend means. I've had a constant in my life for about eight years now that I can say truly gets me and I truly get her and I'm thankful for that.
Forging deep connections requires a certain amount of emotional investment, authenticity and risk. Maintaining them demands energy and may occasionally push our boundaries. Most real friendships eventually take some work, and they almost never come with guarantees. This is something I've had to learn. When I really give of myself to a friendship...I give a guarantee, but what I'm learning is that it isn't always reciprocated. That hurts. When you think about it, it feels like other people are being chosen over you. It makes you think about your guarantee...and when it's time to revoke it...because at what point do you continue to reach out, to not have your friendship reciprocated?
On the other side of that coin, I've been SO very lucky in the past few months to take a friendship that I've had that was created when I started walking/running and really grow and water it. We've connected with things in our life, even rooting to our families, that my heart feels so connected to her and to say I'm thankful isn't enough. I feel like I can share anything with her--doubts and fears, both personally and professionally, and she has been my shelter from the storm. And I hope I've been the same for her. She is extraordinarily important in my life. She's my "sister" (*wink, wink*) and she knows who she is.
If you read classic literature on friendship, you'll see that to people such as Aristotle, Montaigne, Shakespeare, Hemmingway, and much later, C. S. Lewis, true friendship was much more than the companionship often mistaken for it. The friendship we find in their writings will probably not be found in the club, sharing a girls night out with acquaintances, or lamenting at happy hour. Montaigne even expressed you might find one true friendship in every 300 years. I don't necessarily believe that to be true...I mean Laverne & Shirley, Lucy & Ethel, The cast of Friends, The Pretty Little Liars...we've got some winners there.
I guess that was a long winded and blabbering way to say be kind to one another. Cherish your friendships. Friends are the people who help celebrate your success, provide support through the tough times, and through the consistent times, are there just to help you laugh.
“Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It's not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything.” -Mohammed Ali
"Friendship is always a sweet responsibility, never an opportunity." -Unknown
I guess I like to think I surround myself with people who view friendship in the same manner as I do. When I was a kid, my mom used to tell me, "One day, you'll end up like me, with a handful of close friends, and it's going to be the quality that matters, not the quantity."
(She's a smart lady.)
I always thought to myself, "But, Ma, ALL my large quantity of friends are quality anyways!"
Over the years, I learned that wasn't the case. I wasn't always a quality friend when I was young, but as I hit college, I learned what being a quality friend meant. And, over the years, I learned that not everyone understood what being a friend meant. As with everything I suppose, everyone has a different view on what being a friend means. I've had a constant in my life for about eight years now that I can say truly gets me and I truly get her and I'm thankful for that.
Forging deep connections requires a certain amount of emotional investment, authenticity and risk. Maintaining them demands energy and may occasionally push our boundaries. Most real friendships eventually take some work, and they almost never come with guarantees. This is something I've had to learn. When I really give of myself to a friendship...I give a guarantee, but what I'm learning is that it isn't always reciprocated. That hurts. When you think about it, it feels like other people are being chosen over you. It makes you think about your guarantee...and when it's time to revoke it...because at what point do you continue to reach out, to not have your friendship reciprocated?
On the other side of that coin, I've been SO very lucky in the past few months to take a friendship that I've had that was created when I started walking/running and really grow and water it. We've connected with things in our life, even rooting to our families, that my heart feels so connected to her and to say I'm thankful isn't enough. I feel like I can share anything with her--doubts and fears, both personally and professionally, and she has been my shelter from the storm. And I hope I've been the same for her. She is extraordinarily important in my life. She's my "sister" (*wink, wink*) and she knows who she is.
If you read classic literature on friendship, you'll see that to people such as Aristotle, Montaigne, Shakespeare, Hemmingway, and much later, C. S. Lewis, true friendship was much more than the companionship often mistaken for it. The friendship we find in their writings will probably not be found in the club, sharing a girls night out with acquaintances, or lamenting at happy hour. Montaigne even expressed you might find one true friendship in every 300 years. I don't necessarily believe that to be true...I mean Laverne & Shirley, Lucy & Ethel, The cast of Friends, The Pretty Little Liars...we've got some winners there.
I guess that was a long winded and blabbering way to say be kind to one another. Cherish your friendships. Friends are the people who help celebrate your success, provide support through the tough times, and through the consistent times, are there just to help you laugh.
Monday, October 13, 2014
Changes (not the TuPac kind)
Change can be scary. Whether the change is good or bad, there's something in all of us that equates change with fear. Personal and professional...it doesn't matter...I can remember going over pros and cons; worrying about what was going to be.
Half the time, the worst possible thing you could imagine is not anywhere close to what actually happens and you've expended all this energy that could have been used for good instead of evil!
It's taken me a long time to get to the point where, at least in the workplace, I've started to accept that change is good. It keeps people fresh. It creates new opportunities. I think I probably had to learn that once I acquired direct reports, because trust me, listening to seven people's fears leaves no time for your own.
Long story short, my group, which has always rolled into the sales organization is now reporting into Global Supply Chain. Without a whole lot of GE mumbo jumbo, this means big changes not only going global, but moving towards a "one company" approach.
I was given the opportunity to talk about our group in a video that was launched globally to the entire Global Supply Chain. It was a group of people and we were all in the video, but they started and ended with me and I think that's pretty cool and memorable.
Here's a screen cap from the video (since it's internal I can't actually link you to it, which is a bummer.)
Not only did I say this, but I introduced us globally as a group who "Is the hub of the business. Seamlessly orchestrating all functions of the business, turning an order into providing dependable patient care."
Which, yes, I did come up with myself (*pats self on back*) and I also think is pretty cool. Sometimes, I complain about my job, but in reality, my job is pretty cool when you think of who it affects down the line.
The advice I try to give my employees during this time, when things feel uncertain, is to embrace it. Embrace the uncertainty, because you can make it anything you want it to be. It's ok to feel nervous for a minute. But then move on and keep the communication lines open, because the more we talk about the changes, the more we can bring our ideas to the table to squash the fears.
Change brings the opportunity for you to learn; for personal growth. Change brings improvements...imagine if change could give you a better work/life balance! Change forces you to look at the bigger picture. Instead of looking at what is right in front of you, it forces you to widen your view.
Change has also helped me become a better leader. Although, I love my senior employees, the fact that I've helped quite a few of them move onto amazing roles, allows me to bring in new employees and that keeps ME fresh. I always have to stay on top of my game with teaching and learning how to interact with new hires to make sure they are the best they can be.
The next time you start to fear change....stop for a minute and think of all the possibilities it could bring you instead. If you can do that, it really is a game changer for you and the people around you.
Half the time, the worst possible thing you could imagine is not anywhere close to what actually happens and you've expended all this energy that could have been used for good instead of evil!
It's taken me a long time to get to the point where, at least in the workplace, I've started to accept that change is good. It keeps people fresh. It creates new opportunities. I think I probably had to learn that once I acquired direct reports, because trust me, listening to seven people's fears leaves no time for your own.
Long story short, my group, which has always rolled into the sales organization is now reporting into Global Supply Chain. Without a whole lot of GE mumbo jumbo, this means big changes not only going global, but moving towards a "one company" approach.
I was given the opportunity to talk about our group in a video that was launched globally to the entire Global Supply Chain. It was a group of people and we were all in the video, but they started and ended with me and I think that's pretty cool and memorable.
Here's a screen cap from the video (since it's internal I can't actually link you to it, which is a bummer.)
Not only did I say this, but I introduced us globally as a group who "Is the hub of the business. Seamlessly orchestrating all functions of the business, turning an order into providing dependable patient care."
Which, yes, I did come up with myself (*pats self on back*) and I also think is pretty cool. Sometimes, I complain about my job, but in reality, my job is pretty cool when you think of who it affects down the line.
The advice I try to give my employees during this time, when things feel uncertain, is to embrace it. Embrace the uncertainty, because you can make it anything you want it to be. It's ok to feel nervous for a minute. But then move on and keep the communication lines open, because the more we talk about the changes, the more we can bring our ideas to the table to squash the fears.
Change brings the opportunity for you to learn; for personal growth. Change brings improvements...imagine if change could give you a better work/life balance! Change forces you to look at the bigger picture. Instead of looking at what is right in front of you, it forces you to widen your view.
Change has also helped me become a better leader. Although, I love my senior employees, the fact that I've helped quite a few of them move onto amazing roles, allows me to bring in new employees and that keeps ME fresh. I always have to stay on top of my game with teaching and learning how to interact with new hires to make sure they are the best they can be.
The next time you start to fear change....stop for a minute and think of all the possibilities it could bring you instead. If you can do that, it really is a game changer for you and the people around you.
Friday, October 10, 2014
Ancient Chinese Secret 5000 years old
That's what my Eastern Medicine Voodoo lady told me earlier this week. It was comical, out of a movie almost. (I say that with love.)
I was telling her about all my mom's health problems and her lung issues and she said "I can cure her."
I said "Sure you can. She's been in and out of the hospital since December, but you're gonna rub an herb on her and she's all better?"
She looked me dead in the eye and said "Ancient Chinese Medicine 5000 years old. Western medicine, not so much...and you. I make you believer."
Ok, ok!!!!
P.S. I'm a believer. Although she did bruise the shit out of my arm,
I forgive her. Because in the past week of seeing her, I've lost 5 lbs, I'm sleeping better, and I generally feel happier.
She's teaching me a lot about how my organs function, how they function together, and how the energy in your body is really important.
Additionally, each organ in your body is associated with a feeling. For example, your liver is associated with anger, the heart is associated with joy, the spleen with worry, the lung with grief, and the kidney with fear. As you work on these organs, you work on the feelings and the energy behind them...and trust me...lately, I've had a lot to work on in many of those departments. The past few months have been filled with all of those emotions and filled to the top.
I'm curious what today's session will bring because she always blows my mind!!!
In other news, it's concert season!!! I love fall because that's usually when my favorite bands show up and I don't have to worry about the crowds and grossness that is Summerfest. Tonight I'm seeing OKGO, who are legit geniuses. Tuesday I'm seeing Delta Spirit, and the following Monday, the ALMIGHTY PEARL JAM!!!!! This will be my second time seeing PJ. I've met Mike McCready and he is probably my favorite guitarist. He plays that guitar like it is part of his body. (And we all know I have a thing for guitarists...I did marry one!!!)
Happy weekend to everyone! We made it through the week!!!
I was telling her about all my mom's health problems and her lung issues and she said "I can cure her."
I said "Sure you can. She's been in and out of the hospital since December, but you're gonna rub an herb on her and she's all better?"
She looked me dead in the eye and said "Ancient Chinese Medicine 5000 years old. Western medicine, not so much...and you. I make you believer."
Ok, ok!!!!
P.S. I'm a believer. Although she did bruise the shit out of my arm,
I forgive her. Because in the past week of seeing her, I've lost 5 lbs, I'm sleeping better, and I generally feel happier.
She's teaching me a lot about how my organs function, how they function together, and how the energy in your body is really important.
Additionally, each organ in your body is associated with a feeling. For example, your liver is associated with anger, the heart is associated with joy, the spleen with worry, the lung with grief, and the kidney with fear. As you work on these organs, you work on the feelings and the energy behind them...and trust me...lately, I've had a lot to work on in many of those departments. The past few months have been filled with all of those emotions and filled to the top.
I'm curious what today's session will bring because she always blows my mind!!!
In other news, it's concert season!!! I love fall because that's usually when my favorite bands show up and I don't have to worry about the crowds and grossness that is Summerfest. Tonight I'm seeing OKGO, who are legit geniuses. Tuesday I'm seeing Delta Spirit, and the following Monday, the ALMIGHTY PEARL JAM!!!!! This will be my second time seeing PJ. I've met Mike McCready and he is probably my favorite guitarist. He plays that guitar like it is part of his body. (And we all know I have a thing for guitarists...I did marry one!!!)
Happy weekend to everyone! We made it through the week!!!
Liver is associated with Anger
Heart is associated with Joy
Spleen is associated with Worry
Lung is associated with Grief
Kidney is associated with Fear
- See more at: http://www.tcmworld.org/what-is-tcm/tcm-healing-modali
Heart is associated with Joy
Spleen is associated with Worry
Lung is associated with Grief
Kidney is associated with Fear
- See more at: http://www.tcmworld.org/what-is-tcm/tcm-healing-modali
Liver is associated with Anger
Heart is associated with Joy
Spleen is associated with Worry
Lung is associated with Grief
Kidney is associated with Fear
- See more at: http://www.tcmworld.org/what-is-tcm/tcm-healing-modalities/#sthash.JWWtd6Co.dpuf
Heart is associated with Joy
Spleen is associated with Worry
Lung is associated with Grief
Kidney is associated with Fear
- See more at: http://www.tcmworld.org/what-is-tcm/tcm-healing-modalities/#sthash.JWWtd6Co.dpuf
Liver is associated with Anger
Heart is associated with Joy
Spleen is associated with Worry
Lung is associated with Grief
Kidney is associated with Fear
- See more at: http://www.tcmworld.org/what-is-tcm/tcm-healing-modalities/#sthash.JWWtd6Co.dpuf
Heart is associated with Joy
Spleen is associated with Worry
Lung is associated with Grief
Kidney is associated with Fear
- See more at: http://www.tcmworld.org/what-is-tcm/tcm-healing-modalities/#sthash.JWWtd6Co.dpuf
Wednesday, October 8, 2014
Life starts all over again when it gets crisp in the fall
I've heard this quote before, but after the summer I've had, it really struck me when I saw it again.
We normally think of Spring as being a time of renewal and rebirth because that's when everything starts to bloom.
But, if you think about it, fall is where that whole process starts, isn't it?
For things to have a rebirth in the spring, the leaves need to fall off the trees, the flowers need to stop blooming, and the air needs to get chilled.
This fall has brought me a number starting over moments. Deepening friendships with people, recommitting to my health, both physically and mentally.
I got the chance to go out to our Corporate Learning facility in New York when I needed it the most. It helped me change the way I think about things, people, and how I react.
There was so much that I took away from that week long experience I couldn't possibly write about it all. Two very important things that I will talk about are two quotes.
One is "Thoughts become things...choose the good ones." When you make a point to focus on the negative thoughts in your head, you give them life. You give them gravity and mass and they become real, even when they are not. It's hard to do, but if you can stop and recognize the thought and re-frame it, your outlook on life can change drastically.
The other quote, I already have hanging on my wall, but I never really made a point to look at it every day.
"Be kinder than necessary, because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle."
This morning, when I was looking at the beauty of the moon and thinking about how small we are, this quote popped into my head.
There's a whole lot of evil in this world. There's a whole lot of people in this world who don't care about others. There's a whole lot of people who are hell bent on destroying others and breaking them into a million pieces.
I tend to believe, however, that for all those people in the world, there are many more good people, and we outnumber them. As I sat and looked at that moon and thought about all of the people in the world who were looking at it as well, I thought how wonderful it would be, if on a daily basis we all focused on the good. We all focused on helping a stranger, on being kinder, not only to ourselves, but to those faces in the parking lot or at the grocery store we don't give a second thought to.
What would that look like? As beautiful and immense and powerful and stunning as the moon this morning??
"You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one."
We normally think of Spring as being a time of renewal and rebirth because that's when everything starts to bloom.
But, if you think about it, fall is where that whole process starts, isn't it?
For things to have a rebirth in the spring, the leaves need to fall off the trees, the flowers need to stop blooming, and the air needs to get chilled.
This fall has brought me a number starting over moments. Deepening friendships with people, recommitting to my health, both physically and mentally.
I got the chance to go out to our Corporate Learning facility in New York when I needed it the most. It helped me change the way I think about things, people, and how I react.
There was so much that I took away from that week long experience I couldn't possibly write about it all. Two very important things that I will talk about are two quotes.
One is "Thoughts become things...choose the good ones." When you make a point to focus on the negative thoughts in your head, you give them life. You give them gravity and mass and they become real, even when they are not. It's hard to do, but if you can stop and recognize the thought and re-frame it, your outlook on life can change drastically.
The other quote, I already have hanging on my wall, but I never really made a point to look at it every day.
"Be kinder than necessary, because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle."
This morning, when I was looking at the beauty of the moon and thinking about how small we are, this quote popped into my head.
There's a whole lot of evil in this world. There's a whole lot of people in this world who don't care about others. There's a whole lot of people who are hell bent on destroying others and breaking them into a million pieces.
I tend to believe, however, that for all those people in the world, there are many more good people, and we outnumber them. As I sat and looked at that moon and thought about all of the people in the world who were looking at it as well, I thought how wonderful it would be, if on a daily basis we all focused on the good. We all focused on helping a stranger, on being kinder, not only to ourselves, but to those faces in the parking lot or at the grocery store we don't give a second thought to.
What would that look like? As beautiful and immense and powerful and stunning as the moon this morning??
"You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one."
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