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It's been a rough summer, to say the least. 

As far as my car situation goes, I'm finally set. The devil Soul has been totaled, the white Sportage that was infested with billions if ants and ant eggs (because of course it was) has been returned. 

I am successfully driving a beautiful and safe grey Sportage which I am in love with. 

Mom has been in the hospital for seven days. This is right after Dad got out of ICU for pneumonia and sepsis. The expectation is that mom will be released tomorrow, but I guess we will play it by ear. She sounds and looks a million times better but she still has quite a bit of labored breathing. I have a hard time thinking we will ever get this COPD under control. The doc did mention as a very last resort we may need to consider a lung transplant....but that is so far down the line it isn't even worth talking about right now. 

My jaw seems to be semi under control. I have a guard I wear to keep my jaw in place. It's a weird feeling getting older. I often wonder if I'm having a mid life crisis at 34. 

There are days I feel like an old woman wishing I had done things differently, days I feel like living in the moment and letting all the "norms" be damned, and days I feel like an innocent teenager waiting for life experiences and feeling vulnerable and insecure. 

It's kind of an odd place to be.

But I suppose that's life, isn't it? Curve balls waiting around every corner...

Car accidents

Since December, this household has been in four car accidents. 

I slid into someone in December due to the bad weather.

About a month and a half ago I hit someone driving erratic on north ave. about a month ago nils was hit by a hit and run and then Tuesday I was in a pretty bad crash. The airbags deployed and I not only think they will total the car but I am praying for them to total the car. That thing has caused me nothing but problems since I got it. And if I didn't believe in curses before I do now. That car is cursed.

I have been an emotional weepy mess since Tuesday. I am bruised on my stomach from where the air bags got me and every day it is a reminder of how much worse it could have been, but also a reminder of the incessant bad luck I've been having. 

I just like crying, crying is my favorite. It's not but for as much as I have been doing it the past few days you'd think it was.

Pics don't do the damage justice, but let's all just hope for a complete loss and total on this please. On one hand, I could get rid of this car I don't feel safe in. But then the headache of how to afford a new car starts. This is the part I also wish I had a trust find or rich family memeber who could just help me the one time I need help. I don't like to ask for help because I should be able to do this stuff on my own. And I will. Either way, I'd like to get this over and done with so I can stop feeling like I'm going to vomit every minute if every day.