House woes

Well, today we rescinded our offer on the house. I have mixed emotions. Part of me is really upset and sad because we came so close. The other part of me is ok with it because we will save another year and be able to get something even better. 

It's hard when you can picture what you want but you can't afford it.

The house we chose didn't just have roof issues, but it had structural damage. We would have had to negotiate the seller pay for not only a new roof but the structural repairs (upwards of 30K) the fix to the basement drain, a new AC unit, water heater, and garage door.

I am actually not even sure how this lady managed to list this house before and am pretty confident she has been grassing people for the 6 years she has been trying to sell the house by not disclosing the issues. 

I'm sad. But next year at this time we will have a turn key brand new home in Tosa where we want to be and we won't settle. 

What do I title this blog post?

A little bit of this, a little bit of that.

I just turned 35 and it wasn't as scary as I thought. I had a blast with friends and realized I no longer can hold my liquor. 

We saw a house a few weeks ago and nothing we have seen since has measured up. I think we are going to place an offer. I am trying not to get my hopes up because there are a lot of eyes on this house, but it would be perfect for us and for entertaining.

I lovingly call it the giraffe house because inside the house, currently, is a floor to ceiling statue of a giraffe.

My mindset is set so that if we don't get the house, I know it wasn't meant to be. I really like the house though.

I've been off working out for about three weeks. My first outdoor run, my hamstring injury came back with a vengeance. I was planning on running the Ragnar Relay but I have had to back out due to it. I've noticed that my mindset gets really bad when I'm not working out so I have to get back in the groove. Some days I wonder if I will ever be happy with my weight or my body. I fluctuate about 5-7 lbs, but there is a number on the scale I just can't look past. Which, to an extent is good, because if I'm there I know I need to do what I'm supposed to be doing. 

I've decided to give up alcohol for the month of May and try to focus on my health. Booze is empty calories....but it tastes so good! I also have thought about getting a mini tummy tuck if I can get insurance to cover it. Sometimes they will if excess skin after your weight loss is causing medical problems. I know I've come a long way, but that part of my body will never go away and I don't know how to love myself in spite of it. I know I'll feel better and not hate it as much when I get back to working out, but even though those thoughts lessen at that point, they are still there. I have never proclaimed that I'd like to be a size 4. My body doesn't work that way. My ideal size in my head is an 8. I feel like skin removal should be a part of bariatric surgery after a certain time period. I'll keep my bat wings, no big deal, but I'd love to shrink this tummy. I tend to focus on it more when I'm not working out and I realize this. So I'll check back in a couple weeks and see if my mindset has improved! If someone ever figures out the magic cure on how to love your body no matter what please send it my way. 

I also have a new boss. I like her but having a boss who actually wants to make a difference in our department is sort of already exhausting. She is no nonsense which is good and bad at the same time. I've been pretty content with running things with no one to answer to for the past year and so now I have to put on my game face again. 

That's all for now. Keep your fingers crossed on the giraffe house!