Sunday, August 16, 2015

Weight and acceptance

I've been going to this really great bootcamp for the past few weeks at Body by Design. I found it based on a Groupon and it is one of the hardest things I've ever done but it's just what I needed as a change up in my routine.
I can tell I feel better, I've lost a pants size, but the scale isn't moving. We all know I have a problem with that.  My personal trainer is telling me to get rid of my scale and I can't bring myself to do it. I don't have the luxury of someone who has been naturally thin all my life. I don't have the mind set of someone who can just say "who cares what the scale says" because for a long time I didn't weigh myself and I got to 290 lbs. This, right now, is simply not an option and I know Taylor really cares about seeing me succeed but he has a lot of work ahead of him, and I'm not sure he understands that a lot of it is mental.
I've heard twice this week about me getting smaller and no matter what I do, I look in that mirror and see the same fat girl that has always been there. I simply don't know if that will ever go away. 

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