Everything

I don't know. I guess when a big event happens in your life you're supposed to reevaluate. Not everyone does I guess. Not everyone cares. Last week my mom lost one of her best friends unexpectedly. She was family to me so it's been hard. It makes you, or should make you, realize life is short and the ones you care about should be made a priority. 

Now that I think about this situation, it literally didn't hit me until I was typing this, that I'm NOT a priority to some people. Some people will never realize, even when it's gone, what they had. 

After this evening, when once again my sister said some incredibley hurtful things to me and even brought my niece into it; expressing that after discussions (you know; her opinions) my niece never wanted to see me again, once again I'm the bad guy. 

I'm so tired of being blamed for having a good life because someone has a shitry one. Your shitty life isn't my fault. I'm done walking on eggshells and acting like we can fix things because on a normal level..this person is far from normal. I get guilt and regret but I also don't blame my regret on someone else. 

I guess, moral of the story is I'm just tired. I'm tired of being blamed for having a productive life. Who would have thought that would be something to wish away?