One of these things is not like the other

Was talking with a friend today about how things are "different" now. Neither of us could put a finger on what it was that made things feel different...

I received a text and it was put perfectly...."feeling around in the darkness...are you there?"

Twitter and Facebook used to be really fun places. Where you made friends, and you shared funny things, and you shared your life, and it was this community. An actual real live community. It's hard to explain to people who don't "get" Twitter...the sense of friendship and community that come along with it. You interact with these people so much that even if you have never met them you feel like you have. But then you DO meet them and it's like you've known each other forever.

I get that things change. Sometimes slowly and over time and before you know it you're left standing there wondering what happened. That's how I'm feeling today. Like I woke up and thought to myself "Where did my community go?"

I met some really great people through twitter. Some of them are still there and some of them have pulled away in real life. I'm having trouble with that too...the people who have pulled away in real life...people I thought I'd be friends with forever are not including me in their lives anymore and that hurts. 

That community sort of feels lonely now. Has social media just "jumped the shark?" I don't know. Maybe. That community now feels like a person who is trying too hard. That community used to be get togethers and getting through the day together and living vicariously through what others were doing and I could go on and on.

My hope is that this community isn't gone for good. My hope is that there is just an odd lull in the community and that someone turns the lights back on.

I'm not sure I like the darkness.

Do-overs

Since I've been thinking lately about how I feel like I'm just sort if finding out who I am, I asked the question today on Twitter

"What would you do with your life if money wasn’t on object and/or you could go back and do it over again?"

Do you know I didn't get a response? Not from any of my 1500 followers. So are 1500 people ignoring me or is it a topic no one wants to think about?

I was thinking about all the things I would do if I didn't have to work and if I could re-do my life up until this point. I don't know if that's sad or unhealthy, but it was I was thinking about.

Remember as a child, there was nothing more you wanted to do but be a grown up? I wish I could bottle up what I'm feeling now and pass it to my nieces. 

Just because I'd want them to know that they should follow their hearts, but also think about money...and how lovely money is. :) 

They say money can't buy happiness, but I tend to disagree. I mean to an extent, I guess. If you're generally an unhappy person money isn't going to fix you. But if you're generally a happy person, money is totally going to enhance that. 

There's a famous piece of artwork that starts out by saying "If I could do it all over" ... Well, if I could do it all over maybe I'd realize there was more to this world. Maybe I'd move to New York and go to school there. Maybe I'd go and get a nursing degree or a law degree. Instead, I sort of feel like I took the easy way out. I went to a school close to home, roomed with a high school friend, partied and chose the easiest, lowest GPA major I could find. Would it change the course of where I ended up today? I don't know. 

So, the other side to the coin is right now...if I had money and didn't have to work, I'd do so much good. I'd volunteer and really spend my time making a difference, fighting injustices. I'd save a bunch if animals, I'd protest SeaWorld, I'd save Darfur, and I'd join the Peace Corps and go to third world countries and build schools and houses and give them water. I sometimes just wonder what my life's meaning is. 

Is your life perfect?

Mine isn't. That's for sure. I think those of you who know me personally and have read my previous blog or are starting to read this one know I've got my own demons.

One of my facebook friends posted this today, though, and it got me thinking.

"I was told, because we have the ability to easily curate our lives on Facebook, most of us sculpt out a framework of our happiest selves to show the world. What studies have found, is that it is causing depression amongst a lot of our peers. Why? Because they aren't getting the full picture of their friend's lives, and they think it's "perfect".

 It made me think. I'm not sure what's going on in my head or what this post will result in, but it truly made me think. I think about how I go back and forth. In today's day of social media when I see people posting about how perfect their lives, their husbands, their jobs are and never posting anything negative, I wonder to myself what horrible thing they are hiding. But then sometimes I think maybe their lives really are that perfect and I wonder where I went wrong. 

In reality, I know that everyone has their "thing." Maybe even five "things." Maybe even ten. I've got my anxiety. I've got my body image issues. But I also have a great husband and family and friends. So I think we've all got a little bit of perfection in our lives and a little bit of disaster. 

Then I started really thinking about how social media is both a curse and a blessing. Without social media I would never have joined CCFA, would never have made some very good friends, would never have gotten my own billboard, would never have done a lot of things. I also wouldn't spend hours on my phone at night instead of interacting with my husband. I also wouldn't feel lost without my phone five inches from my hands. I also wouldn't feel the need to report every ounce of my life to all of my 1400 twitter followers who are OBVIOUSLY hanging on every word I say. 

I think we use social media to post the best parts of our lives so we can get the "atta boy" we're looking for. Some validation...which relates back to my more recent post about letting people know when they are doing a good job. 
I wonder, if instead of us all posting only the good things, and we all posted the real things, if social media would get old and tired. If people would get sick of hearing about the "real" in your face every day dirt about life. I mean, I've got my own grit I have to deal with, why do I want to hear about yours, right? Or would it help us as a society be less depressed thinking everyone has it better? 

I guess I just leave you with this. No one...no matter what they put out there has a perfect life. Everyone has a demon or a skeleton in their closet. Maybe it is marriage issues, maybe it is depression and anxiety, maybe it is something you couldn't even imagine in your wildest dreams. And maybe, instead of focusing on whether or not their lives are perfect or whether we're doing all we can, we should just be there for one another. Support each other as human beings through the good and the bad and leave all that other junk in the dust where it belongs.